Just some stuff I need to say

I have to do this book report for school and it's certainly not my first nor my last, and writing usually comes so easily to me, and even though I don't love it when it's for school, I do like it more than other schoolwork, but for some reason with this one I just can't do it. Maybe it scared me how much I connect to this topic - I actually find a point in writing this - or, I can see the connection that I'm supposed to. And even writing in a specific format has never been a problem, even though it's annoying, and I have connected to topics in the past, so why is this scaring me now? Maybe I just didn't admit that to myself - that I want to write this - and now I'm stumped. Gods, this is a mess. But I have to connect a book that I read to the play and myth Pygmalion, and I read Daddy-Long-Legs (I've read it before, I wanted something short and easy) and I could see the connection before I even started reading it and maybe I don't want to put this truth out there, because if I'm ever passionate with something I write for school it's because they let us have a bit of creativity, so with anything else I have this sort of mask over my writing and now I'm gonna have to write stuff that I think is the truth and maybe I don't want to do that. Also I feel that writing in formal language and a certain format is bullshit, but I can tell that I'm going to get a good grade for this (I have everything I wanna write planned out in my head) and that makes me feel like a fraud and I don't wanna do this and I promised my mom that I'll write it today and it's due in 4 more days and my parents always read everything I write for school and my mom gives me corrections that make me feel like an idiot and my dad just changes the whole thing and suggests edits that sound better but change what I meant and when I don't take any of his suggestions he gets sort of mad and tells me that I never take criticism and I hate all of it. Also it's a vacation and I don't want to do school work but I have loads.

So that was all of my feelings and I'll go back to that book report and listen to good music and try and get the creative juices flowing. Damn it damn it damn it.

~BYe.(Tal)